Archive for the ‘Obituaries’ Category

So I was DM’ing a game for my friends and a rift had opened up in the roof of a cavern the dwarven city that the party was residing in was sealed away. The said rift also opened up right at a densely populated area, which rained down a townfull of houses and a whole castle, which was heading straight for the party. Naturally,our rogue changeling ran away riding our dwarven barbarian, but our Half-Orc Paladin thought that it was a great idea to attempt to 1v1 the castle. naturally, he failed the strength throw with a less than 20 score, and was crushed, to the great amusement of the rest of our party.

(1 votes)
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So a few years back I was in a campaign and we got decently high level, so the DM decided to have us go against a lich. We’ve got a rogue, paladin, cleric, arcane archer, and fighter.

We find the lich’s tower and go busting through the front door. Everyone makes a saving throw versus some sort of death spell. Everyone makes it! …except the fighter.

Cleric uses a spell to preserve his body and we drag his ass back to town to be resurrected. Time to try the tower again!

This time we get to the top of the tower and break in through the roof. He’ll never expect it, right? We’re all creeping down the spiral staircase and bam! Saving throw time. Everyone makes it but the fighter. His dead body tumbles down the spiral staircase. Everyone else fights the lich and we collect the dead fighter after the battle. Back in the dead cart with you!

Basically fuck death magic, why can’t I ever make my saving throw?

(1 votes)
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I had just started playing with a group after being the DM for a few months. Because everyone else was already high level I had to make a character with enough levels to not be a hindrance. Unfortuantely I put either way too much or not enough thought into it and decided to make my Psion Deva a language expert. Read on »

At his peak he knew 14 languages but wasn’t very useful in combat. After about a month he had come into his own as a good support role and I was beginning to get cocky. We came across a village of hob goblins and we knew that our quest objective was within the village so after much discussion we decided to try and parlay with the hobgoblins as we had just come out of a fierce battle with a large group of bugbears where we had nearly all died.

Unfortunately only my Psion and our party’s Fighter knew how to speak HobGoblin so before going in the rest of the party came up with a plan on what to say to get them to let us in. Unfortunately my bad memory acted up and made me forget what the plan was almost immediately which did not go well for us when the DM made us roll bluff checks and the Fighter failed his. After struggling with what to say for ten minutes I finally got fed up and challenged the Shaman to a duel to allow us access to the village. My psion fought valiantly but in the end he was ruthlessly disintegrated and I was banned from ever taking any more linguistic feats.

(3 votes)
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We now have an obituaries section! Tell us of your characters’ noble sacrifices, how they threw themselves into harms way to protect the innocent and save the world.

Or, as is more likely, how they died doing utterly stupid things that beggar belief. Because we know you’ve got more of THESE stories than the other type…

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