Posts Tagged ‘5e’

DM: *Points to Dragonborn* Everybody is racist to you. *Points to Tiefling* Everybody is racist to you. *Points to Gnome* everybody is racist to you*. *Points to Elf Rouge* You climb up trees. *Points to Elf Druid* and you fuck animals.
Nobody in this country is going to rez you.

(1 votes)
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So yeah, in a festive adventure, we played Bogeymen who protect children by scaring them. When we discovered Tooth Fairies were taking childrens teeth to control them via Pratchett-esque mind control. When someone or other asked why Children were being used, I had to say “We have a specific interest in children”.
Needless to say, drinks were spilled in laughter.

(2 votes)
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During a game at ALcon in which our group financially conquered all of the Nentir Vale, the Paladin charged bravely into the mine, then called for help when he found he was charging a dragon. Help was not immediately forthcoming… more, reversing actually

(2 votes)
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Iseryn just couldn’t decide who to immobilise today.

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Our druid has a wonderfully positive outlook on life. The sky licks the ground? Must be friendly

(4 votes)
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Iseryn the cleric’s player shows off some artwork being done for her. The party oohs and aahs. The barbarian makes lewd comments; “I’d smash that… With a mechanical fist”

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Kender pockets make killing giant chickens a delicious ordeal

(1 votes)
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The best way to politely evacuate the infirm from a commandeered flying machine is to ask them politely to jump whilst a mage casts feather-fall for their convenience

(5 votes)
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The druid debates his stance on pacifism with regards the already-deceased. The barbarian debates which one dies next

(2 votes)
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The perils of drinking too late in a strange city

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